sunday is coming and the is again time for Sadako-chan. Wanna see her, i show her.
Today i am a bit in a strange mood. I don´t know why but i think about my past and things long ago.
Lost friends, lost places, lost memories, and lost love this all is a part of my past.
Why i think about past, maybe because of my current role-play, which is still a big part of my live, maybe cause of the lousy weather outside and a strange dream i had when i had my afternoon nap today.
Am i prod of my past ? Sure i am. I mean i have a great wife and i plan kids, and i will have a family in the near future (yes you see my lovely wife i am nit joking i think about that day by day !). I am say that i am the most proud and happy guy i can imagine, but still i think i had could done better in the past.
I disappointed people and sometimes i disappointed myself. I passed on dreams which were in reach and i not take many changes i get. But all this lead to the fact that i am who i am.
I love my life and how i am now. I am an sick man with not so much energy which i want have, but i am happy with it. I never give up, and i am strong, cause i have the ultimate key to life in my hands. This key is love and i will use it wise and make my world better with it.
I regret many things i done in the past, but i realized that all wrong decisions were the price for my life how it is now. I mean it was worth the price. One look in the eyes of the girl which sit only 2 meters away tell me that i am right with all i done.
I discussed with some people in the last days if it is worth to die for love. Sure it is, but why should i ? I mean die for love is easy. I would do without doubt. Jump in front of a bullet, spring in a river to save the one you love is not much and only cost life and that is really a little price. So what you can do if you are in love and want to show it. Not die for the one, live for the one of a million. Give time to the person you love, stay alive and fight at her / his side.
Time is the key to find the ultimate love we all search. I mean it took many years to find someone i can love. Call me obsessed, but i will protect my love with every action i do in my live. I will do anything to ensure that this will last far behind death and all the time. Love once connected can not be divided.
Why i regret some in my life anyway ? I regret that i am not able to act like i feel many times. I want to show my love so much more than i do.
I want divide my heart to gave more time, more love, more kindness and more feelings than that i already heave.
But all i can do is write this words, and share it with you all. I hope some of you will smile while reading it.
I wish you a nice week and a lovely sunday.
Love will change the live, even yours if you believe .....
Shinji-kun ^^
